To Work Or Not To Work, that is the question

A cashier at our grocery store went on a rant the other day about the damage that women are doing to our society by allowing day cares to raise our children simply because we are obsessed with the illusion of money, when in all reality we spend more money on childcare than we can make.

My blood boiled. The concept of “day cares raising our children” is a hot button phrase for me to begin with (why do we not make the same accusations when we send our children off to grade 1?), but to essentially accuse me (as I had told her I would be going back to work in 7 months) of going back to work only for money? It insults my devotion to my child.

My work offers an amazing maternity package that allows me stay home for 12 months with my daughter. As some of these benefits are above and beyond what is required by Canadian Labour Laws, I did have to commit to returning to work for a certain time period. As grateful as I am for these additional benefits, I’m also grateful for the commitment I had to make.

Going into this mat leave, and for the first three months, I was adamant that I was returning to work. Nothing could stop me. However, now as Charlie’s personality is starting to bloom, I can’t imagine not spending every day with her and going back to work. As someone who is not a fan of change, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that when I was working (“Work Cara”), I wanted to return to work. When I was home, I wanted to stay home (“Mom Cara”). I need to give being “Work AND Mom Cara” a chance before I make my decision.

But rest assured, when I make that decision, it won’t be because I love money more than a child, or because staying home is “less damaging” to my child. It will be based on what is best for me, my daughter, and my family.

Categories: The new identity | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “To Work Or Not To Work, that is the question

  1. Wow, I can’t believe she said that. The nerve! I am a working mom. Trust me, we weighed the options, but while I would love to spend every minute with my kids, we also have bills to pay! And they are turning out just great. My husband and I raise them, and we happen to have the help of family, teachers, daycare. They are influenced by so may wonderful people and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  2. Shybiker

    This subject is so complex it can’t be answered simply, or even the same way for different women. I find it unpleasantly arrogant when people judge mothers for their choices.

  3. Don’t get me started. I know you’ve read my thoughts on working before so you know where I am. In the boat of “I have no choice but to work but would stay home in a heartbeat if I could.” So this woman makes my blood boil. And I also don’t judge women who love their careers and choose to return because of that either – you know what? It’s setting an example for their children! I wish people would just keep their thoughts to themselves, but sadly, that’s just not the world we live in. And I wish I could tell you it’s the last time you’ll feel judged about a choice you make in regards to your child. You just keep doing what’s best for YOU and YOUR family and at the end of the day that is what is important.

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