Having a bad day

It doesn’t take much to start a bad day. It can be a bit of rain derailing your morning plans. It can be your daughter suddenly refusing to eat her favourite meal. It can be seeing a speed trap and then looking at your speedometer and realizing the speed limit isn’t what you thought it was. It can be lamenting that there are only a small handful of day before you return to work. It can be all of those or none of those, or even reasons you don’t understand. And sometimes, you just need a bad day to give you an excuse to feel sorry for yourself.

But sometimes it just goes too far.

Monday was a bad day for all of the above reasons (though I was neither ticketed nor pulled over) and I just wasn’t able to shake it when we got to stroller fitness (rescheduled from the morning to the afternoon because of rain). I thought the work out was helping but suddenly found myself watching two kids slightly younger than C playing.

One was walking.

One had a relatively verbose vocabulary.

C has walked a grand total of 3 steps. She also has a grand total of 2 words. It didn’t matter how many times I’ve read, heard, or even said: “Each baby develops in their own unique way in their own special time,” the storm cloud over my head darkened and in that moment, I believed myself to be a complete and total failure as a mom. And with only 2 weeks left until I go back to work, I didn’t have enough time to correct my mistakes and so Little C would be doomed forever.

I know she’s not. I know she is exactly on track, and I know there is nothing I can do to speed up her development. But a bad day makes all the doubts in your head that much worse.

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Categories: The new identity | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Having a bad day

  1. Oh I hear you for sure. My day was also pretty cruddy (the alternator in my car went out… and $500 later my car works again. Sigh.) and it just made me start doubting pretty much everything in my life.

    So here’s to better days tomorrow! I’m sure the parents of the other kids you saw have their own worries about their children. (And I don’t know how old your little one is, but my now 2 year old didn’t walk at all until he was 17 months old. Now he’s running along just fine!)

  2. Oh honey don’t let yourself fall down that hole! It’s SO hard to want to compare your child to others but trust me, nothing good comes of that! I was the same way because Ollie was a late walker – not quite as late as Shea’s, but still later than many. He was also a late crawler and of course let’s not get started on his sleeping issues. I know it’s all easier said than done, but you’ve done and are doing a great job with little C and she’s going to be just fine – you are a good mom!!!

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