“Go ahead,” I said at 3:00 in the morning to the OverDrive app on my phone: “tell me again that you only wear boots that cost several hundred dollars”.
That’s the one memory I have of reading Alison Freer’s How to Get Dressed. It started out so promising – the first two chapters available without signing out the book through my library had me even smiling as I clicked through the pages. But at 3 am, as I reached the middle of the book, I was raging.
The book obviously didn’t answer back immediately. But it did a few chapters later. In between were copious references to why no one should ever send their clothes to a dry cleaners because it’s a waste of money (which apparently should only be used for buying expensive boots).
There was 5 pages on how to properly wear a tuxedo. There was an entire chapter on laundering clothes, one on stain removal and a glossary of fabric types that pretty much just repeated — for the third time — how to launder items.
I appreciated the reminder on how to make sure you are getting a good fit. The tips and tricks for wardrobe malfunctions could have been handy, if I hadn’t already known them. But by the time I got to the section on what fashion rules to ignore — ones that everyone already ignore — I was over her bragging “I work with celebrities but I can’t tell you who, I’ll just assure you that they are THE biggest name in Hollywood” and other boasts (even the acknowledgements implied that 705 people were needed to do her regular work while she stepped aside to write this book).
Seriously, guys. Give this book a hard pass unless you’re someone who woke up this morning and thought “you know, I’ve shown no interest in clothing until this very minute and now I want to dress like a star” because chances are, if you’ve even only mildly been interested in clothing there is nothing she has to say that is relevant to your life that you don’t already know, or wouldn’t be able to Google if the need arose.